Whiter than Rice

Monday, October 29, 2007

Top 10 Red Sox Moments of 2007

They will be rated by
1) significance - X Ortiz Clutch Hits out of 10
2) Awesomeness - X Papelbon Fistpumps out of 10

(All Images are stolen from BDD or Google)

10. 6 Run 9th inning Walkoff Victory vs. Baltimore Orioles



The essence of this moment: everything that is shitty about the universe coming together to create something awesome.
1) The Baltimore Orioles Bullpen
2) A Julio Lugo Useless Groundball to First base
3) Kevin Millar’s 1B defense

Imagine if Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini got together and decided to start a charity for cancer kids. That’s what this moment was like.

Significance: 5 Clutch Hits out of 10. Awesomeness: 5 Fistpumps out of 10

9. The first game where Eric Hinske did not suck





Hits 2 run dinger, then makes awesome catch

Significance: 5.5/10 Awesomeness: 5/10

8. That second game where Eric Hinske did not suck
9/15/2007 – Beckett outduels Wang for a 10-1 Victory at Fenway.



Eric Hinske destroys Posada at the plate.
Yes, the best thing Eric Hinske did all season consisted of him getting thrown out at home.

Significance: 6/10 Awesomeness: 6.5/10

7. Back-to-Back-to-Back-to-Back



The pitcher victimized: ChXXX WrXXXX. It was unfortunate it wasn’t TyXXX ClXXXXXX, that guy owes me money.

Significance: 5.5/10 Awesomeness: 7/10

6. Okajima’s First Save on St. Patrick’s day


Comes Back from 6-2 deficit, start of season long abuse of Okajima’s Arm. Also starts season long sexual fantasies about Okajima’s wife.

Significance: 6/10 Awesomeness: 7/10

5. With one swing of the bat, JD Drew vanquishes a season full of suck.



Did I mention his son is less retarded than Posada’s son?

Significance: 8/10 Awesomeness: 7/10

4. MANNY-BOMB


That is a very bad man.

Significance: 7/10 Awesomeness: 9/10

3. TACOBY BELLSBURY


With stolen base, Tacoby brings free tacos for America, spreads democracy and freedom to Middle East and defeats the terrorists. Also, that run didn’t score, which pretty much sums up the offense for the year.

Significance: 6.5/10 Awesomeness: 10/10

2. LAPTOP THIEF THROWS NO-HITTER


It should only count for half a no-hitter because it was against the Orioles, but I don’t really give a shit. I didn’t really see much of the game either, because the changeup was so good it made me blind.

Significance: 8/10 Awesomeness: 9/10

1. Lester 1, Cancer 0


Significance: 10/10 Awesomeness: 10/10

Note: To Javier Lopez and Eric Gagne: we may forgive, but we never forget.

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