Whiter than Rice

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I live with a bunch of sad fuckers

I really should be doing work, but this is a story I have to tell. It shows you what a pathetic place I'm living in with a bunch of sad fuckers.

Today we had pathology lab... a class that starts at 10 am, 2 hours after our pathology lecture, which I dont' attend because it's at 8 o'clock in the fucking morning.

I see my buddies gather at this one place... so I walk up and ask what the hell is going on. They were all waiting around for this girl to walk in because they had heard from somebody that she was wearing a MINI-SKIRT today.

Now, the girl they were talking about... um... nice girl. Like a pretty decent person that doesn't treat people like krap. She rates at 6.5 normally, 7 on a good day, 7.5 after a few beers. Not exactly replacement level, but nothing special either. But I stay around anyway because I assumed she whored herself up by Asian standards (i.e. normal dress for the rest of civilization, not counting the "stone-women-to-death-for-being-raped part) and I was really curious what her legs looked like.

She walks in the door.

She's wearing a skirt a couple of inches above her KNEES.

I almost slapped the motherfuckers that made me wait around.

Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

Tony: Wait, that's SHORT? Then what the fuck is LONG? That Taliban-ass shit where women can't reveal anything except their eyes?
Buddies: Well, what about the clothing worn by your female friends at home?
Tony: 妳是LG比雞腿是不是?

I had to use Chinese for the last quote because 1) the Taiwanese readers would find it funny 2) I'd get to explain local dialect to the rest of you.

What i said translated word by word - Are you comparing a penis to a chicken leg?

The phrase is actually an analogy pointing out the ridiculousness of comparisons. Some examples would be:
Comparing my money to Bill Gate's money
Comparing my accomplishments to Einstein's accomplishments
Comparing Peter Stein's intelligence to the intelligence of a genetically-defective gerbil

You know, because a penis is dramatically smaller than a chicken leg, thus making the comparison stupid? (African-Americans need not apply)

What a sad pathetic World I live in, where Asian Males are being deprived of the opportunity of staring at scantily-clad females who happen to be their friends.

I will never say a foul word about my female colleagues at Kitsilano ever again. Well, at least about the manner of their attire.


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