The Red Sox Self-Immolation Post

Try to pick out which statements are emo, and which statements describe the Red Sox:

KEVIN YOUKILIS IS HITTING FIFTH!!!

MY PARENT'S DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!!!

MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME WHEN SHE HOOKED UP WITH ANOTHER GUY AT THE CREED CONCERT!!!

RUDY SEANEZ DFA'ED!!

YOU BROKE MY LIFE!!!!

MIKE TIMLIN WITH INHERITED RUNNERS IN HIGH LEVERAGE SITUATIONS!!!

MY DADDY DOESN'T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE'S GOT A TATTOO!!!

MY MOMMY WON'T GIVE ME MONEY FOR THE SIMPLE PLAN CONCERT!!!

JOSH BECKETT WON'T THROW STRIKES!!!!

P.S. Chelsea bought Bouhlarouz. Awesome. I hope he'll finish the job on Cristiano.