Whiter than Rice

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Must. Buy. Materazzi. Jersey.

The man is my new role model. It's too bad he's a stupid Italian like Todd Bertuzzi. Otherwise I'd worship him.


1) If Materazzi DID say something racist, he should have the book thrown at him Di Canio style. I mean, there is a GIANT FUCKING BANNER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STADIUM that says "NO TO RACISM".

2) Fans that are racist are stupid, should be thrown out of stadiums, and be disqualified from life. Making monkey noises and throwing bananas at African players don't make you funny. It makes you a racist asshole who has chosen to make himself an ass at a soccer game for no apparent reason other than making yourself an ass.

3) All that being said, if I could get somebody as good as Zidane sent off, I'd say/do anything and everything. Screw pushing the envelope. I'd fucking burn the envelope. I'd talk about his whore sister, his dying mother, his dead grandmother, his gay uncle, his molested kids, whatever was available. I'd use every single racist slur ever devised by any ignorant redneck. I'd talk about fucking his kids, White Noise style. If there was something worth trading your personal integrity for, the World Cup, the glory, and the hot and cold running pools of high class poontang would probably be one.

In short, I don't condone racism, but I'd engage in it if it wins me a World Cup.

There is a subtle difference being just a racist douchebag for no apparent reason, and trading your personal integrity and honour for a World cup. It's subtle, both despicable, but it's there. And I have never ever claimed to be a saint.

I mean, I got some Belgian guy who's 5 times the player I am to take a Yellow Card (should have been sent off) for telling him to "Cry me a river." Imagine what would have happened had I told him to "Go Back to Holland." Supposedly Belgians get really angry when they are mixed up with the dutch, kind of like Koreans and Japanese. Had I had that information ahead of time, I probably would have utilized it.


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