Whiter than Rice

Sunday, November 13, 2005

My Big Insano Red Sox Off-season Plan, 2005 Edition, Part II

I'm incredibly grateful for the amount of constructive feedback and discussion I received on Therapy. Now for some feedback before part II:

What's more, I don't see much reason to think Foulke won't rebound to something like previous levels. He was great for 5 years, and has had surgery to fix his injury. Under your plan, I would use Ryan and him as the ace relievers and Timlin as the "closer-outer." That way, Timlin almost always comes in with no one on.

I actually tried using CFBPS do predict Keith Foulke's performance, but just couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. No matter how much optimism I tried to put in, I just couldn't forsee the fat cracker drunk rebounding to his 2004 Deity-like levels and leading us to another World Series. Or getting out of a 2 runners on 1 out jam in the 8th inning without giving up a run. Can't do it. Can't do it can't do it can't do it.

Call it an irrationality on velocity, but a guy who threw 89mph TOPS getting injured and possibly losing a couple of miles coupled with the fact he only had one good outpitch that requires pinpoint control and a velocity difference from the fastball?

I hope he becomes great. But right now I can only forsee "decent" as the best possibly scenario.

As to whether you keep Bradford, I'd say it's either him or Myers. You can afford to have 1 guy on the staff throwing 45 IP, but not 2 of them. I vote to keep Bradford and ditch Myers.

I like Myers better because he's a lefty. I'd say we keep both, because Bradford is more than capable of pitching 60IP

Then promise him (Ryan) the closer's job. And tell him to go #### himself* as soon as the ink dries. He belongs to a union that collectively bargained a contract which does not allow players to decide where they play or when they are used.

I had thought of this too, but then BJ Ryan is probably not the last FA I'd like the Sox to sign ever again.

Yoshinoya for a sandwich/burger joint is a terrible trade.

I wouldn't trade the Yoshinoya joint for Johan Santana. If any of you Therapudians ever run into John Henry, lobby hard for a Yoshinoya joint in Fenway. Baseball is good. Baseball and beefdon? Probably better than the awkward sympathy sex I'll end up having with a female friend when I'm 35.

Anyhoo... Here's the next bit:

The Rotation

Starter #1: Curt Schilling

Curt had a rough year last year. He sucked as the starter and he blew (blown?) as the closer. The peripherals weren't actually "that" bad last year (4:1 k/bb rate), but the dinger rate was pretty high... over 1 dinger per 9 innings. The hit rate also went through the roof.

I think Curt'll be better next year. He'll be better from the bloody sock injury, and he wants to make the HOF, so he'll probably still pitch another two years.

A lot of people don't like Curt, and I can understand that. He talks a bit too much. He may be a douche, but he's OUR douche. We love him, and he'll be our ace for the next 2 years.

Starter #2: Matt Clement

For the first time in his career, Matt Clement did not suck because he was walking people left and right or because balls were leaving the yard at Milton-esque rates. He sucked because his strikeout rate dropped significantly. That's what happened. He couldn't strike anybody out.

Also, he stunk up the joint in the second half. I don't know why. I'm not a pitching coach, I don't know. I can only provide unscientific speculation and uneducated bullshit, and my bullshit excuse is that he was overworked in the first half. Make sure he doesn't get overworked in the first half? Keep extra attention to make sure his mechanics don't go funny?

I don't know.

Probably the goatee

Edit: There's plenty of speculation that the beaning caused his suckage.

Starter #3: Brandon Arroyo

Oh I'm sorry, [/Tim McCarver]

2005 Bronson Arroyo:

I don't know what sucked more, his music, his pitching or his shitty-ass haircut.

Starter #4: Spot in which needs filling

Since the Fat Fuck Cracker SOB wants to leave town, we'll need somebody to fill this spot. He pitched 180 IP last year at 99 *ERA+.

Easy to replace you say? I just looked at the 2006 FA list.

1. We shoudln't be paying 100 gabillion dollars a year for AJ Burnett. The guy's had TWO years worth the money, which was 2005 and 2002. All his other years he's been hurt. "Young" (28 already) pitcher with velocity and chronic injury problems? Yeah, we TOTALLY should give that guy a 40 million dollar contract. I mean, Carl Pavano, living the high life!

2. Kevin Millwood: 31 years old. Coming off a huge career bounceback season. His agent is Scott Boras. Next

3. Paul Byrd: I don't know, I just flipped thorugh his stats, I'm starting to like this guy. I know, 35 year old righty soft tosser, but he's been pretty good his career. For 5 million dollars he did give the Angels 200 IP of 112 *ERA+ ball last year, something the Red Sox last year couldn't get if they had the love child of Walter Johnson and Bob Gibson. We should take a look at this guy, see how much he wants, I don't know.

4. Jarrod Washburn: Lefty coming off a really good 131 *ERA+ season, but with a K/BB ratio of less than 2? Coming from the Angels with a really good defense behind him? Been krappy for 2 years before that, but has a reputation of being a "winner" with the 2002 WS Winners? Next Scott Boras (+)

5. Kenny Rogers: 41 years old. Would be in jail if he were a minority. Next

6. Jamie Moyer: threw 200 IP's of league average ball last year. Ancient lefty soft tosser that never walks people. I love this guy already. (I've always been a big Moyer fan. He was absolutely teh suck in 2004, but was really good for a long stretch before that.) May be worth a flier, not sure.

7. Vincente Padilla: 100K/74BB's? 96 *ERA+ in less than 200 innings? but is "talented" enough to get big money on the open market? Next

8. Tom Glavine:
Lefty soft tosser that doesn't walk people?? Sign me up. His future hall of fame status might drive his cost up though. Still a good starter but not what he was used to be. The K's just have disappeared over the years, but the fact that he cut his dinger rate dramatically last year actually make me really high on this guy.

9. Esteban Loaiza: On and off, on and off. Incredibly inconsistent. We dont' win the 2004 World Series without him. He'll want big money after a decent year last year. With our luck if we sign him he'll DEFINITELY bust. next.

10. Matt Morris: good track record, good 2005 with a shitty 2004, injury problems, want big money... this is becoming a recurring theme.

11. Jeff Suppan: been tehre, done that, and again, another guy whom we owe the 2004 World Series too.

12. Mark Redman: Actually has an option with the Pirates. He's not that good anyway. next.

13. Jeff Weaver: Not actually that good, Scott Boras client.. another recurring theme eh?

14. Byun-Hyun Kim: Make your own witty comments. I've stopped trying.

Starter #5: Tim Wakefield

I think a pitching staff sucks when the best pitcher is a 40 year old knuckleballerr. I love Wake, I love him in the 5th spot, but if he's the best starter on our team, there's trouble.


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