Whiter than Rice

Sunday, November 20, 2005

My Big Insano Red Sox Off-season Plan, 2005 Edition, Part III

Here's the final installment of the 3-part miniseries if you will. The support/constructive feedback I've been getting from Therapy is greatly appreciated.

The Position Players:

C: Jason Varitek
Doug Mirabelli
Kelly Shoppach

We have a fine catching tandem to say the least. Jason Varitek hit an awesome 125 *OPS+ as a catcher last year in 539 PA's, and was well worth the 10 million dollars we paid him last year. Whether he'll continue to be worth the 10 million dollars a year for the next 3 years, I have no clue. We all know catchers don't age gracefully, but Jason Varitek is a damn good catcher right now. He looked pretty tired at the end of the year though. He also won a gold glove in which he did not deserve. He's about league average in terms of catcher defense (according to UZR). HOwever, for a catcher he has provided great offense. In general, if he keeps his play up, I'll be very happy to have him around. If he starts aging... let's hope Shoppach is ready

Doug Mirabelli is a good backup catcher. He'll be on the last year of his 1.5mil/yr deal next season. He hit for 89 *OPS+ last year in a backup role, primarily starting when Wake is pitching. He'll probably retire/leave after this season, but again, he's a good backup catcher, and I'm glad he's here next year.

Kelly Shoppach had 16 PA's last year in the majors. He made15 outs. However, he hit pretty well in the minors last year. I hope we don't trade him, because we'll definitly need him around as an insurance policy shoudl one of our 2 veteran catcher hurt themselves, and I think he'll be the backup for good once Mirabelli leaves next year. He's good defensively and will take a walk. His lack of contact... who cares. He walks. He should start the next year in the minors, but probably get a few callups here and there.

1B:

KEVIN MILLAR IS GONE

KEVIN MILLAR IS GONE

KEVIN MILLAR IS GONE

I FEEL LIKE I'M OVERDOSING ON ECSTASY, BUT WITHOUT THE "WOW THE LEATHER IS SO SMOOTH" EFFECT

FREEDOM FOR US ALL!!!

Speaking of freedom, I don't think Roberto Petagine is the answer for the Red Sox. He's teh suck defensively, and we have enough lefty bats already. Here's what I propose the Sox do for 1B:

1. Bring back John Olderdude.
The man can still contribute. He hit .289/.344/.451 for a 109 *OPS+ last year in 192 PAs, and despite losing a lot of his range has probably the best hands at 1B. Bring him back next year as a defensive sub who can start should something happen to our starting 1B. I expect his power to regress even more next season, but he shoudl still be able to get on base, but his glove is pretty valuable IMO.

2. Find a RHB slugger at 1B.
My answer: Troy Glaus

Troy Glaus is EXACTLY what the Red Sox need: A power RHB bat at a corner IF position. Glaus should be moved to first because:
a) He was totally tehh suck last year at 3B… I mean, UZR totally ravaged him
b) He was completely healthy last year, but he’s had injury trouble in the past. 1B is less demanding than 3B

Here’s what he hit last year:
.258/.363/.522 = 125 *OPS+
In comparison to KFF:
.272/.355/.399 = 100 *OPS+

There are more reasons I think Glaus would be a good fit for the Sox:
1) his high price tag would make his cost in trade assets less
2) he’s blocking people left and right in Arizona (Conor Jackson and Chad Tracy, Tony Clark will be the backup veteran)
3) Oh F!@# right they hired a new GM who’s not stupid. Damn.

Anyhoo… I hear Diamondback fans want two of Lester/Sanchez/Shoppach. That’s just f’ing ridiculous. Glaus has like 25 million dollars left on his deal, so simply he’s NOT THAT TRADABLE. He’s a good player with question marks.

Here’s what I propose:
Glaus and like 3million dollars for Sanchez, Delcarmen, and Cora.
Delcarmen has value despite his control problems. Lively young arms are still worth stuff in the MLB
Cora is a very good defensive middle IF. And I hear Royce Clayton is leaving the D-backs next year. They can retool the C & C Out Factory by replacing Clayton with Cora! (In all seriousness, Craig Counsell is a damn good player, and he was f’ing jobbed last year out of a GG)

2B:
Bring back Tony Graffanino on a 1 year deal. Graff hit a .309/.366/.425 last year, and for a 2B, that’s a plus bat. He was also pretty good defensively last year. We have Pedoria/Petunia in the minors, so we’ll need Graff around for 1 maybe 2 more years. As for the backup 2B… Because I traded Cora in the last bit, Machado will be the backup 2B. He can handle it defensively, pretty good footspeed… that’s all that matters.

SS:
We’re pretty much stuck with Renteria. He hit .276/.335/.385 last year, pretty much inline with his career. I wish he hit a little better, but I can live with those numbers. What I can’t live with was how ASS HE WAS DEFENSIVELY LAST YEAR. HE WAS FUCKING ASS IN THE FIELD. FOR 10 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS YOU’D THINK WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A GUY THAT COULD THROW TO FIRST BASE. We have HRam in the minors coming up… could be used as trade bait, I’d much rather keep him, because we really could use all the toolsy prospects we can get. Backup: again, Machado

3B:
Kevin Youkilis will FINALLY take over at 3B next year. In the past 2 years, he has hit .265/.376/.411 in 343 PA’s in the majors. He’s also a decent 3rd baseman. I’m looking forward to Youk starting fulltime next year.

Bill Mueller filed for free agency, and he’s actually one player I’d really miss. We got some big hits and good years out of Bill, and he makes Mariano Rivera his prison bitch. It’s unfortunate that he’s old and declining and with wonky knees, because the guy is still a pretty decent switch-hitter.

I say the Red Sox put out a 1 year contract on the table with a slight pay cut and honestly tell him that we’d like to keep him around as a platoon/bench role. He COULD and should be starting elsewhere, but we should at least TRY to keep him. With Bill Mueller around, we could start him only against RHP at Home (and get pretty awesome numbers out of him), and the rest of the time keep him on the bench as the backup 3B and a valuable switch-hitting bat on the bench. He could also fill in at 2B should the situation get desperate. The point is that for his price tag, he could STILL HELP US A GREAT DEAL.

DH:
Big Papi is da man.

LF:
Keep Manny Ramirez. This is getting stupid. You can’t find anybody to replace Manny’s bat in the Red Sox bat this offseaon. You just cannot. His defense and baserunning is tehh total suck, but we need to keep his RIGHT HANDED bat in the lineup. Keep Manny, but find a good defensive sub/pinch runner.

CF:
I like Johnny Damon. I hate Scott Boras. Anything beyond a 3 year deal for a CF over 30 is stupid. That’s all I gotta say about this.

Should we have to replace him:
Fat Fuck wants out of town eh? Wants to go back to San Diego?

Hey Towers… Flip us Dave Roberts for Fat fuck! We DEFINITELY need this guy back in town.
1) We need a leadoff man/speedy defensive CF should Damon leave town.
2) Should Damon not leave town Dave Roberts can pinch run/defensive sub for Manny
3) He could pinch run for ANYBODY.

Plus, he serves us the added advantage of being leverage against Boras/Johnny Damon/Michelle Damon. I’m pretty sure there would be ZERO fan backlash should Dave Roberts start at CF instead of Johnny Damon next year. Scotty can’t use the “Clutch World Series winner” thing against the Sox as leverage, because our insurance backup plan IS the Clutch Playoff Hero.

RF:
Trot Nixon was decent last year at the plate. He would have been better at the plate had he not died after the all-star break. He had surgery in the offseason, so his defense should improve (hopefully it’ll help his hitting too). However, if I see him get more than 50 AB’s against lefties next year I’ll have an aneurysm. We need a platoon partner for Trot. It’s that simple. Gabby is gone, and he actually wasn’t good enough. Jay Payton was a bust last year. I think the Trot Platoon Partner Problem will become a bigger issue for the Red Sox next year, despite the Manny/Krappy Starting Pitching/Krappy Bullpen/Larry Lucchino Douchebag of Liberty/CHB issues already surround the team

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