My Roommate has a MICHAEL BOLTON CD

I hope I don't get raped at night or something.

All I know now is that I have to be heterosexual for the both of us, which means I have to be TWICE as manly as I am now, and forego all activities that could POSSIBLY be feminine.

Can't watch chick flicks because I think the chick in it is hot, too ambiguous.

Can't drink Fanta, may be construed as non-heterosexual

Can't listen to my Alanis Morrissette CD's

Thanks a lot

Asshole

I'm definitely hurting the next cute furry defenseless animal I see.

I also need to run out and buy a gun. Something with a large calibre round and a long barrel.