Whiter than Rice

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I Have Now Officially Stayed Overnight in a Whorehouse

SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW

It's our annual Medcup Tournament. Our baseball team travels South to Tainan to compete. There is a list of recommended hotels. We pick the one closest and cheapest to the baseball field.

BIGGEST
MISTAKE
EVAR

It took us half an hour to find the place. It was in some dark unlighted alley. There is no lights. The building is a 5-story apartment building that is barely lighted.

We step in the front door: it's dark, and there's about 3 women in their 40's. Wearing Skimpy Clothing and thicker makeup than a plaster wall. There's some 50 year old dude with a beer wearing a white beater shirt.

This can't be good.

We go upstairs to our "rooms"

There is cigarette ashes on the bedsheets.

When we turned on the air conditioning black shit came out

The bathroom looked liked something out of a prison movie

The entire place smelled like herpes.

How I made it through the night: Went to 7-11, bought a roll of the large black plastic bag stuff, layed it ALL ACROSS THE BED, and laid on it for the rest of the night with a raincoat and a surgical facemask on.

Needless to say we got the fuck out the next night, but not before being hammered 19:1 by the home team the next day. Did I mention I came out to pitch down EIGHTEEN RUNS?

I've seen dirty tactics before, but this is the first time BIOLOGICAL WARFARE has been employed to win a bloody softball game. They recommended a BIO-HAZARD for us to stay in. (Another team stayed at the hotel too btw... they were pissed also)

If the organizers didn't check out the hotels before they recommended them, then they're a bunch of fucking incompetent morons.

If they DID check out the hotels...

HOME ADVANTAGE DOES NOT MEAN PUTTING OPPONENTS AT RISK AT FROM ANAL RAPE/SEXUALLY TRANSMITTEDED DISEASES THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GAME.

I mean, if you're gonna put us in a whorehouse, at least put us in a GOOD whorehouse where it's like clean and shit and the women are under 40.

TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE

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