Whiter than Rice

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Canada Can Learn From Korea

I think Korea has some good ideas, some ideas, not so hot. For example, "somehow" getting the most biased calls in their favour arousing the World's anger and suspicions, not so good. One of their Unofficial National Policies is this:

If you don't win, don't bother coming home.

It's not so much that "they can't go home". They're not deporting them or stripping them of their citizenship or anything, it's just that unless they accomplish something, they'll be shamed forever when they go home and the media hounds them forever.

What happens to our players? They go back to playing NHL hockey being paid millions of dollars. Personally, I don't think Chris Pronger should be let back into the country, because we'd have to pay for his health care, which at this point he does not deserve. Go to the States and pay for that shit. Bryan McCabe should be deported, lynched, hanged, humiliated, dismembered, and excommunicated from the church, and not in that order.

If I ever saw these guys on the street, I'd tell them how much they sucked. I urge all other Canadians to do the same thing. These guys go back to their million dollar mansions, fancy cars, and trophy wives, while us loyal fans are left with nothing except disappointment and humiliation from internet users from Europe.

Free Passes:

Bertuzzi

Took a dumb penalty today, but he actually only took 3 penalties in the entire tournament, and had some good shifts, and after the Bertuzzi Scale of Stupidity Adjustment, he gets a free pass. He can't help it.

Joe Sakic

Stripped down to his jersey and a pair of shorts, Sakic bore a 12-stitch scar across his left cheek (which is slightly fractured) and a black eye. These are the souvenirs Sakic will carry home, courtesy of an errant stick in Canada's shock loss to Switzerland. -NHL.com

I'm going to go with Bob McKenzie on this one, Sakic gets a free pass.

My Guys

Richards passed when he had an open net, Smyth took a stupid penalty, but the PK was good enough today that Richards/Smyth/Doan get a free pass, as well as Draper (whom I think shouldn't have been here). It's not Draper's fault he's can't do anything but kill penalties. They picked him.

Brodeur/Luongo

We were outshot today. We had ONE shot against the Czechs in the 3rd Period. Finland was pwning us. The Goaltenders get a free pass. Had they been short of the fantastic they were, we wouldn't have made the quarters.

Heatley

Dany Heatley would be the seventh forward I'd talk about. He, along with Nash, was supposed to have a coming out party. They didn't get the job done. - Bob McKenzie

Gotta disagree with you on this one Bob, Heatley was actually forechecking this tournament.

Vincent LeCavalier

Again, Vinny-Smyth-St.Louis was the best ES line for Canada.

Martin St. Louis

It's not his fault he's tiny.

Wade Redden

The least shitty Canada d-men

The Deportation List:

Bryan F McCabe

I'm ashamed that guy has the same passport as I do.

Chris Pronger

Did somebody sabotage Canada by putting Ed Jovaovski's brain in Chris Pronger, THEN that somebody break his foot with a baseball bat over and over again? I STILL can't believe we have to pay for this asshole's health care. Maybe he doesn't deserve to have his children taken away (BTF REFERENCE WHAT), but I hope they make his children go to private school or something. And he should pay DOUBLE income taxes and 20% GST.

I recall Chris Pronger saying that Salt Lake was "The Worst Tournament of his Professional Career" or something along those lines.

This definitly tops that

The Moron That STILL Put Chris Pronger out for 25 minutes A Night

I know the internet has some stupid things, but we occasionally get it right. You know, LIMIT HIS ICE TIME BECAUSE HE FUCKING SUCKED. Congratulations to whatever moron decided to put him out in the last minute.

Joe Thornton

San Jose Sharks? He should be fed to sharks, Except that if a shark tried to chew on his head it would bite down on nothing but bone.

Fuck that was a lame insult. The only thing he hit the entire tournament was probably the bottle.

Ok that was offensive. But so was his performance, so we're even.

Jarome Iginla

Oh look! He skated around! He looks worried! HE HAS HEART

I hate to hate on the only minority on the team, but he did NOTHING.

Rick Nash

Unfairly benched for the Czech game, but what does he do when he comes back?

TRIPS THE FUCKING GOALTENDER

Rob Blake

Couldn't hit the net, didn't ass check anybody, was slow like everybody else.

Jay Bowmeester

GREATEST SKATING DEFENSEMAN EVAR (tm) manages to look slowfooted.

Edit: He was +4 this tourney, which meant that his mistakes didn't cost us anything. And he wasn't THAT bad, I just thought he was overrated. He's aight

Adam Foote/Robyn Regehr

"We didn't have terrific speed back there," Quinn said.

Pylons don't move.

2 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home