Whiter than Rice

Thursday, June 02, 2005

MLB Books

MLB Books

For as long as baseball has been played there have been brilliant and controversial literary pieces regarding baseball. From the flowing literary prose of Dan “Curly haired boyfriend” Shaunessy to the Hard hitting investigative journalism of Bill Plaschke, baseball literature has been part of American Culture for as long as the game itself. But what about the players and managers? What about what they have to say? MLB Baseball is proud to present its new series of baseball books by the players and managers!

Managers, Coaches, and Front Office:
“10 Minutes” by Rick Petersen
“How I Survived Two Death Star Runs” by Eric Wedge
“I’m Rich So Suck it” by George Steinbrenner
“Golden Boy” – Theo Epstein
“Closer by Committee” by Terry Francona
“Holds Barred” by Dale Sveum
“Emerging Diseases – Sveumitis” by the New England Journal of Medicine
“How Kenny Williams is an Idiot” by the entire Sabremetric Community
“How Not to Cheat On Your Wife” by Tony Pena
“The Trouble with Young People” by Brian Sabean
“Googleboy – The Biography of Paul Depodesta” by Michael Lewis
“We’re Not Trading Ben Sheets” by Doug Melvin
“We’re not trading Oliver Perez” by Dave Littlefield
“Pitch Counts and Starter Usage” by Dusty Baker
“How the LOOGY changed baseball” by Tony La Russa
“Stadium Acquisition” by Jeff Torberg
“Middle Relief” by Ed Wade
“How He Made Hitchhikers Rich” – The Unauthorized Leo Mazzone biography with contributions from Mike Remlinger, Russ Ortiz, Mark Wohlers, Kerry Lightenberg, Kevin Millwood, Steve Karsay, Denny Neagle, and Jaret Wright
“Pitch less, throw more, bob head – Leo’s guide to pitching” by Leo Mazzone
“How Leo Got My Groove Back” by Mike Hampton
“LAA LAA land” by Art Moreno
“Moneyball” by Billy Beane
“Mikeyball” by Mike Scoscia
“My Predecessor Traded Sammy Sosa and somehow became President” by Tom Hicks
“Making GM’s your Bitches” – Scott Boras

The Larry Bowa Reality Baseball Series:
FEATURE FILM: “Three Nights in The Bathroom: Bowa, Bushmills, and Blown Leads.”
“How Scott Rolen is a Little Girl” by Larry Bowa
“How Eric Milton Gave me Whiplash” by Larry Bowa
“Bleep Bleep” by Larry Bowa
“How to get thrown out of a baseball game” by Larry Bowa and Lou Pinella

The Media
“Randomly Generated Diamond Notes” by Peter Gammons
“Productive Out Machines” by Buster Olney
“How To Properly Show Deference to Derek Jeter” by Tim McCarver
“My Only Talent is being Jack Buck’s son” by Joe Buck
“How Winning The World Series Endangered My Livelihood” by Dan Shaunessy
“Koolaid” by Michael Kay and Jon Heyman
“Smallball” by Joe Morgan

American League

Yankees:
“Fistpump” by Derek Jeter
“I’m Sorry but I’m Not Sure Why” by Jason Giambi
“How My Wife Slept with R Kelly” by Gary Sheffield
“Fan-Player Interaction” by Gary Sheffield
“Karate in Baseball” by Alex Rodriguez and Chan Ho Park
“I’m speak no English but I’m sure I’m stuck with a bunch of assclowns” by Hideki Matsui
“Over My Head or Play it On a Hop” by Bernie Williams
“How Mel Stottlemyre Ruined Me” by Kevin “3 Inning” Brown, Javier Vazquez, Paul Quantrill, and Jeff Weaver. Japanese Translation by Hideki Irabu.

Red Sox:
“How to Get Yourself in the News” by Curt Schilling
“How to Make Sure Your Heroics are Recognized” by Curt Schilling
“How to act like a douchebag” by Kevin Millar, David Wells, and Curt Schilling
Feature Film: “Overworked – The Alan Embree and Mike Timlin story”
“Low Leverage” by Keith Foulke
“I’m Actually Jewish” by Kevin Youkilis
“Wiffleball Plate Discipline” by Mark Bellhorn
“Baseball Parenting” by Trot Nixon
“Baseball Facial Hair” by Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Mark Bellhorn, Jason Varitek, and Matt Clement
“Keep Your eyes off my hot new wife” by Johnny Damon
“Cornrows” by Brandon Bronson Arroyo
“What Do You Mean I had to Take My Mask Off?” by Jason Varitek
“We Jus’ Gotta Keep goin’” by Manny Ramirez
“The Last of my Kind” by Tim Wakefield

Orioles:
“Gold Glove Defense” by Rafael Palmeiro
“How Viagra Changed my life” by Rafael Palmeiro
“You Sick Minded Person” by BJ Ryan
“I aint going to Mexico” by Miguel Tejada
“See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No English – Sammy Sosa on Steroids” by Sammy Sosa and lawyer.

Blue Jays
“Yes We have Baseball in Canada” by Corey Koskie
“No I don’t live in an igloo” by Corey Koskie
“F!@# Plate Discipline” by Shea Hillenbrand
“You’ve been Koched” by former Blue Jays Starting Rotation

Devil Rays
“Please Get Me Out of this Hellhole” by Aubrey Huff and Carl Crawford
“Washed-up-San” by Hideo Nomo
“I was the first EVER” by Alex Sanchez

Twins:
“Don’t Eat Me” by Nick Punto
“Sit Down, BIATCH” by Johan Santana
“ACTUAL REAL PLAYER!” by Juan Rincon
“What Do You mean I was a Free Agent?” by Brad Radke
“Soul Patrol” by Torii Hunter, Jacque Jones, and Shannon Stewart
“The Comprehensive Generic First Person Shooter Strategy Guide” by Lew Ford

White Sox
“Life on the DL” by Frank Thomas
“Where did my baserunners go?” by Ozzie Guillen
“I ripped off Billy Beane!” by Jermaine Dye
“I’m here AGAIN?” by Carl Everett

Royals
“You Don’t Know Anybody Else” by Zack Grienke

Indians
“The Best Indians Pitcher EVER: The Rick Vaughn Story” by Bob Uecker
“How I Ruined Everybody’s Fantasy Baseball” by Victor Martinez with foreword by Eric Chavez
“Greatest Baseball Names” by Coco Crisp
“Gone in One at Bat” by Juan Gonzalez

Tigers
“The Last 20 Game Loser” by Mike Maroth
“The Chair that made me famous” by Jeremy Bonderman

Athletics
Feature Film: “Pickin’ Machine: the Life and Time of Scott Hatteberg”
“The Next Quote Machine” by Nick Swisher
“Groundhog Day” by Octavio Dotel
“Underhanded” by Chad Bradford
“Jean Seller” by Jeremy Brown
“Situational Awareness” by Eric Byrnes
“How Alyssa Milano Struck Me Out” by Barry Zito

Mariners
“Fluke” by Adrian Beltre
“Yellow Man Can Jump” by Ichiro Suzuki”
“Every Eighth day Eddie” by Eddie Guardato

Texas
“9 Million Dollar Bonus Baby” by Mark Texiera
“How Old Am I?” by Alfonso Soriano

Angels
“Intangibles” by Darin Erstad
“20 Million Dollar Rotting Corpse” by Steve Finley
“Leg Kick” by Francisco Rodriguez


National League
Mets:
“Essential Guide to 1B Defense” by Mike Piazza
“I Managed to Hold on to the Ball!” by Doug Mientkiewicz
“Spelling Bee” by Doug Mietkiewicz
“Map to the Strike Zone” by Victor Zambrano. Japanese Translation by Kaz Ishii
“I Ran Before I Walked” by Jose Reyes
“Respect” by Pedro Martinez
”Who IS Karim Garcia? I really don’t know.” by Pedro Martinez
“Family Tree” by Pedro Martinez
“Chicks Dig the Longball” by Tom Glavine

Braves:
“Political Correctness” – John Rocker
“We be Clubbin’ ” by Andruw Jones
“The Essential Guide to Hooter’s Waitresses” by Chipper “Larry Wayne” Jones
“Back In My Day” by Julio Franco

Phillies:
“Underachievers” by Phillies 2004 Roster

Marlins:
“Those Pesky Homos” by Todd Jones

Cardinals:
Film: “Playstation Lineup – Analysis of the Cardinals Offense”
“Pine Tar” by Julian Tavarez
“Whining” by Scott Rolen
“Scrappy White Guy” by David Eckstein, Craig Counsell, and Scott Podsednik

Cubs
“DL Aces” by Mark Prior and Kerry Wood
”I’m the GOOD one” by Carlos Zambrano
“Being Mia Hamm’s Wife” by Nomar Garciaparra
“101 Ways to Torture Steve Bartman” by Cub Fans
“Replacement Level” by Neifi Perez and Jose Macias
“Glasses” by Greg Maddux

Astros
“Headhunting” by Roger Clemens
“Retirement Comebacks” by Roger Clemens
“Pass” by Jeff Bagwell

Reds
”How to make Fireworks” by Eric Milton
“How I gave Larry Bowa whiplash” by Eric Milton
“The Human Fan” by Adam Dunn and Mark Bellhorn
“Going Back to Vietnam” by Danny Graves

Dodgers
“Platoon” by Hee Seop Choi
“Small Sample Size” by Hee Seop Choi
“The Collapse Inning” the Derek Lowe
“Anger Management” by Milton Bradley
“The Pronounciation is FRENCH!” by Eric Gagne
“That Time Didn’t Count” by Eric Gagne
“The Career Threatening Broken Finger Nail” by J. D. Drew

Diamondbacks
“Automatic Out” by Royce Clayton

Giants
“The Benefits of Flaxeed Oil” by Barry Bonds
“Do It Yourself IV’s” by Barry Bonds with foreword by Jose Canseco
“Pitching BP Made Easy” by Kirk Reuter

Rockies
“No It Aint Coors” by Todd Helton
“I’ve Fallen, and I can’t get back up!” by Byun-Hyun Kim

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