This Won't be a Racist Piece of Shit, Of Course Not!!!

Brittany Murphy stars in upcoming movie "The Ramen Girl"

The Ramen Girl is the charming story of a young American woman (Murphy), who finds herself stranded in Tokyo after a break-up with her boyfriend. Searching for meaning and direction in her life, she soon finds herself training to be a ramen noodle chef under the tutelage of a tyrannical, temperamental Japanese master (Toshiyuki Nishida). Their contentious relationship is the center of this funny, bittersweet story.

This is going nowhere good.

I'm almost bracing myself for the "dog meat flavoured ramen" jokes.

You know what's happening though...

I'm getting Ramen for lunch.

So fuck you Hollywood, fuck you in the ass.

At least they got a Japanese person to play Japanese this time.

You Know What I Hate About Soccer?

THE FUCKING WHINING

SHUT THE FUCK AND PLAY BALL

Case 1: Last Week's CL Championships

OK We get it. Your guy was fouled. Or wasnt fouled and took a dive. Or the referee is stupid. Whatever.

STOP SURROUNDING THE REFEREE. BOTH SIDES

He's going to call whatever he's goign to call, no matter how stupid it is.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CHANGE HIS MIND.

SHUT THE FUCK UP SO THE GAME CAN CONTINUE.

(P.S: on that play you play advantage, let the goal stand, and then yellow card Lehmann. Sending off + no goal aws probably the WORST call conceived)

Example two: Yesterday in our league game (We won 2-1...)

To my team:
Guys, stop playing referee. If they ref DOESN'T blow the whistle, it means PLAY ON. It doesn't mean "STAND AROUND AND WHINE FOR A FOUL THAT HE'S NOT GOING TO CALL." KEEP PLAYING.

So what if the reffing is bad.

ALL REFFING is bad.

If they can't get a fucking call in the CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL right, the refs for our fucking NTU Series B League isn't going to be a fucking genius either.

To the other team:

SHUT THE FUCK UP.
STOP WHINING FOR FOULS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DON'T EXIST
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A BUNCH OF DIRTY FUCKERS

And when they DO get the foul, they're still fucking whining!

OH NO I PUSHED YOU.

WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Fuck if you don't want to play a contact sport, go swimming or some shit.

Fuck

I Thought Bananas Were the Best People In the World...

And as usual, I'm wrong.

Last Friday, they give us this patient...

It's a 51 year old mother who's a breast cancer patient.... before we do our history and PE, I go over the file... here were the semi-medically relevent bits that jumped out at me

"Trauma after fall during fight with overseas daughter"
"Caesarian in 1980"

This was going no where good.

Apparently, this 51 year old mother, WHO JUST HAD BREAST CANCER SURGERY, and WHOSE HUSBAND JUST DIED, was BEATEN by her 26 year old daughter.

Of course, it gets better/worse.

Tony: "Um... so you came to the ER because you suffered a fall?"
Patient: "Well... I had a fight with my daughter... she came back from overseas for work issues, and I wanted to talk to her... we got into a fight, and she pushed me to the ground, and then she KICKED ME DOWN... My husband and I sent her overseas when she was young... everything she has, her job, her life, we gave her... We disagree on a few things... I wanted her to get married, but she won't..."

"I told her I wanted to go live with her, but she said 'not a chance in hell'... and told me to go live in a home... and you know those places, if you had 10 years to live, you'll only live for 2... My husband died recently, and I have nothing left... I devoted my life for her, but now she's kicking me aside..."

Tony: "Where did you send your daughter?"

Inside head: Please don't be Canada please don't be Canada Please don't be Canada

Answer: "Canada"

Tony Inside Head: FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

My guess of inner thoughts of my three classmates standing there:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Two things are blatantly obvious:

1) The mother is annoying
2) The daughter is a stupid bitch

I hope I never ever run into this fucking whore on the street, because I'm relatively sure when I'm through I'm going to get a lawsuit of some sort.

If you were born with Yellow Skin, your mother is bound to be annoying.

DEAL WITH IT

So she's annoying.

EVERY ASIAN MOTHER IS ANNOYING.

IT'S AN UNWRITTEN RULE OF THE UNIVERSE.

You don't see me beating my mom, even though that's mostly due to fear.

I don't give a shit how annoying she is.
I don't give a shit if she tried to set you up with some 2-bit Asian dude every day.
I don't give a shit if she bitches you out for coming home late after you give some White fucker a blowjob

If your dad just died, and your mom has cancer and can no longer work,

YOU LET HER LIVE WITH YOU

What a useless fucking bitch. I hope she burns in hell.

My New $1850 CDN Asus Frying Pan

I meant laptop.

I could fry an egg with this thing

Specs:
T2400 Dual Core CPU
1 Gig of Memory
ATI X1600 Video Card 256Mb
100 Gigabyte Harddrive
15.4 WXGA screen
DVD-Burner

It's hot like burning urine!